April flowers

Dear Son and Dear Daughter,

This will be a hasty post about you are up to these days.

Son, you are so loving. You come into our room in the morning, climb in bed with us, take my face in your hands and say “Maman, je t’aime”. I melt everytime. Then we have a cuddle in our warm bed before getting up for the day. I have become a morning person for the first time in my 38 years. I get up at six thirty and do yoga or exercise. Oftentimes, you come in, do a bit of movement with me (you like joining in with the 30 Day Shred and jumping around), or else I give you the iPad and you watch Bob the Builder on it while I finish.

Daughter, you are becoming lovelier every day. You enjoy the playground now and climbing up on all the equipment. Now that spring is upon us, I’ll be pushing you there on your tricycle that I bought you last fall, while your brother rides his tricycle. Riding bikes to the park. Such a simple pleasure.

I ̶b̶u̶t̶c̶h̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ cut your hair yesterday for the first time and saved the curls in the box where I keep your brother’s first blond locks. I was amused to read the date on the box: you are having your first haircut almost exactly the same age as your brother: a few days shy of 18 months.

I took you both to the pool yesterday, you have the cutest new bathing suit, I couldn’t resist it. I am ready to fling off winter in favor of warm weather outings and things. I know I say this so often, but I feel so blessed these days, to be able to spend this time with you. This is a good moment in my life. I hope that it will continue like this, but one never knows in life, do they?

We are getting on to the time when thoughts of a third child swim in my head. To be honest, I don’t want a third child, although sometimes I daydream about what the dynamic would be like. I’ve been joking that I would have a third child if I could just do the second trimester of pregnancy and then be handed a three year old. Somewhere in my gut, two children feels like the number that I was destined to have. A boy and a girl. There’s still this niggling feeling of wanting a third, and if we were going to do it, it’s now or never. But I don’t think it’s a rational feeling. I’m tired, and I do want to get back to work next year. It will be five years since I’ve been working. So I’m writing this to say why we probably won’t have a third, that in my heart I wasn’t feeling it the way I was certain I wanted a second child.

What I do want is to create the most inspiring and comfortable life for all of us. I should say “continue” instead of create, since we are doing it right now. Always room for improvement, of course, but I should not neglect to realize that we are doing good.

Here’s to the arrival of spring, and spending more time outdoors once again. Living in harmony with the seasons, contracting inward in winter, expanding outward in summer.

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