Last days

Dear Daughter,

What can I say about these days, these last days before your birth ? Tomorrow is your US due date and a week later your French due date. I never even dreamed I would make it this far in the pregnancy but here I am, trying out old wives tales to get you to arrive.

Your nana arrived last week, the previous week I’d had a scare in which I thought I’d developed high blood pressure again, which turned out to be a complete and utter false alarm. You are doing great. I am doing great. We have monitoring at the British Hospital twice a week, blood pressure is very low. As a matter of fact, the midwife said because this is my second birth, I could request being induced this time around, past 39 weeks.

Daughter, can you believe I am actually considering doing this ? That is it is very likely that if you don’t arrive by Thursday I will request an elective induction ? Isn’t that so odd ? Who am I ? I was hoping to experience what it was like to go into labor naturally. When I had that scare two weeks ago, I made peace with the fact that maybe it wasn’t meant to be, that I was cut out for inductions. But now, it’s a bit different. Your nana is only here for a short period of time,and I feel like we are really going to need her help once you arrive. So that I can recover, but also to ease the transition with your brother. I think he is going to be fine, he smiles at babies and likes blowing raspberries on you (my tummy), but then again that is a whole lot different from living 24/7 with a screaming baby who demands all of mama’s attention, and I mean ALL of it. A book I just ordered likened it to your husband bringing home a new woman one day and telling you that she is going to live here with us, sleep in bed with him while you have to sleep in another room, and he is going to be with her all the time. That’s quite an image isn’t it daughter ? So I have to be really, really sensitive to your brother’s reaction to your arrival. I want you two to have a wonderful relationship. Not having any siblings myself, I’m not sure how to go about that, but it would be great if you did.

Anyway, my point about induction is that I want to take full advantage of nana being here to help with your arrival and to be able to give your brother lots of attention. I am considering being induced because I can full well imagine not going into labor before the French date next week, then being allowed to wait a few more days, then being induced ANYWAY, (which would really annoy me), then spending a few days in the hospital and by the time we get home, it’s time for nana to return to Canada. That would be silly, when all we are doing right now is sitting around waiting.

I have misgivings about elective induction, however. I have always been against elective anything when it comes to birth, cesarian, etc. I do think that it is best to allow baby to come on its own. I worry about the potential risks, but birth always has risks doesn’t it. And I feel like this is the right thing for our family. I worry I will regret having missed out on the opportunity to go into labor naturally, and to not have pitocin contractions. A lot of people say it hurts more when you are induced, but hell, I think childbirth hurts no matter what. So, this is what I’m considering. I also can’t wait to meet you.

Meanwhile, we are enjoying these sweet days. These days are filled with :

-watching movies (won’t be doing that for a while)

-last minute baby shopping

-bobbing around in the local pool, doing preparation breathing and exercises some days -other days I do prenatal yoga at home, practicing breathing and relaxing

-eating pineapple and spicy food

-drinking Labor Ease tea

-taking baths, although October has brought us an unusual heat wave which I find extremely uncomfortable. It’s 27 and above for the past week, and I’m longing for crisp fall weather, especially since your newborn clothes are all for fall, little hats and jumpsuits.

-sitting on the birthing ball

-daydreaming

I hope you decide to come on your own, but I think that I will just accept that I have no control in birth, and I need to do the best I can, and let the rest work itself out.

I can’t wait to meet you, dear daughter. We all can’t.

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One thought on “Last days

  1. Pingback: A Daughter is born | Letters to my ̶s̶o̶n̶ children

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