Spring morning


This is the sort of morning we have this spring.

You were nice this morning and woke up at seven thirty. Lately it’s been six thirty, and the past couple of days you were edging up to six twenty, cheeky son ! Giving your mama a fright like that.
It was a cold rainy morning so I dug out the ugg boots I haven’t seen in a few weeks, and the dog’s pink raincoat and walked her, and then made us toast, and then we waved goodbye to papa and I brought you to the halte-garderie. After papa went to work, I had a transcription to do for his publishing company, so I worked for an hour on the couch and then wanted a change of scenery so I wrapped myself in a scarf, grabbed my headset, laptop, phone and a few euros for a tea, and grabbed a window seat at the cafe downstairs.
I worked for a couple of hours until it was time to pick you up, and then put you in the Maclaren stroller and walked up the street to the Tuesday market to buy asparagus and strawberries. Then back home for lunch and to laze around for the afternoon.
Mornings like these make me feel content, especially as it’s the middle of May.

You were also invited to your first birthday party on Sunday. There were some other babies from baby group there. You got a little party favor bag with bath toys, and you had your first bite of chocolate. I have been avoiding giving you sweets because I just feel like, what’s the point of giving you sugar until you ask for it ? You don’t need it and until you ask for it, I hope you will learn about the pleasures of fresh fruit in season instead.
However, I must admit that you positively went cuckoo over the cake, and as I put the empty plate back in our host’s kitchen, you were crawling after me and tugging on my skirt. Son, methinks you have a sweet tooth.

I’ve got so many insecurities, son, that have blossomed up with having a child. Fears that plague me from my own childhood. It annoys me, because I don’t want to pass them on to you, but it’s so hard when they haunt me. I am trying like mad to make sure I don’t project them on to you. I am watching and learning from other people. It will be interesting to read this post in the future and see if I feel I succeeded.


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